Cancer is emotional beyond description. Your heart matters, and the matters of your heart affect your process and your outcome.
You don’t have to be the model patient. If ever there’s a time to ditch the perfectionist in you, it’s now. You’ve watched other people go through cancer earning accolades for bravery, and, of course, you want to be courageous, too. But you’ve already hit that high standard by agreeing to put a port in your chest and take a bunch of infusions. This is chemo. It’s okay if you don’t feel brave today. It’s okay to be exasperated once in a while, take deep breaths, shake your head, and maybe pound your fist. I didn’t do any of that in front of anyone, but I did all of it at some time or other. I also looked at my image in the mirror and told myself I’m a champion for declaring war on cancer and doing chemo!
Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Your journey is yours. There’s no template. Control what you can but yield to good wisdom from others when it makes sense. You get to decide the path you want to walk. Don’t be afraid. This isn’t about impressing anyone or winning the patient of the year award. It’s about fighting your fight the best you can with the knowledge and treatments available to you right now.
It is not merely a physical journey. You will experience a gamut of emotions from diagnosis to the last treatment and thereafter. To battle cancer, be considerate of your inner being, engage your soul, and spend quality time addressing how you feel, what you want, and what you believe.
Listen to your body but don’t let it dictate your day. It’s struggling 24/7, so you have to take the reins and make good decisions for it.
Reach out for support, however that best works for you. Let’s be honest about this. Some patients feel very private about their journey, others feel strengthened when they share openly, and most apply a combination of both approaches. We all have personal modus operandi and varying relationships to consider. But, even so, I don’t believe we humans are meant to “tough it out” all alone. Whether it’s a relative, support group, friend, neighbor, church contact, counselor, or work associate–find someone or a group of someones and connect at least enough to feel that people care and your life is valuable.
Plan ahead for a wonderful reward when you’re all done. It doesn’t have to be super extravagant, just motivating– something you can envision with a big smile on your face. One of my friends planned a special trip with her husband.
Don’t give up on work or your purpose. Continue as best you can, within reason, to do what you love. I kept writing, and I also direct a non profit. I didn’t get a lot done for the latter, but at least we kept it at status quo, and that was huge.
If something doesn’t feel right, check it out. It actually may NOT be right. Be vigilant. Crazy things can happen during chemo.
Protect yourself. Unfortunately, that may mean limiting social situations, public activity, and crowded events. For me, that was emotionally difficult, but my white blood count was extremely low, and I was told that any kind of infection could be dangerous.
If you have to go to the emergency room, keep your wits about you. Tell them first thing that you’re a chemo patient so that they can isolate you. Communicate directly and effectively.
Avoid stress of any kind. Stress is horrible for you ordinarily, but during chemo, it’s even worse.
Emote honestly. My clinic told me that people who restrain their emotions during treatment are far more prone to depression post-treatment.
Balance reasonable activity and rest. You need both. I love to walk, but I couldn’t walk my usual two miles during chemo, so I split it up into 10-15 minute increments several times a day.
Do something every day that makes you happy, brings you peace, and connects you to hope and optimism. Choose a good book, favorite music, call a friend, movie, whatever does your heart good.
Mediate and pray–most important, in my opinion. Studies at the Moffit Cancer Center in Tampa, Florida have shown that patients with higher levels of spiritual well-being reported better physical health.
Your heart matters more than you probably even know. So make it a priority in your journey.
© Marianne McDonough 2022
Image: Framestock Footages | Dreamstime.com
